Monday, May 21, 2007


Resurrected Once Again!

Okay, so um, it's been a while...lots to tell, lots to tell. It's funny, every now and then I would think of topics to blog about, but then laziness would be the victor. Plus, my password got screwed up in this whole Blogger-Google unholy marriage.

But I'm back!

First of all, Prague and Vienna were both absolutely lovely, and I had a great time raising a ruckus in Europe with my friends. I'm probably just a bit biased in favor of Vienna, given that I can get around fairly well in German. I really miss the European way of life, though...eating pastries, looking at beautiful architecture every time I stepped outside, walking through the locations where major world historical events took place, navigating subway systems in a foreign language. I miss all the adventure and exploration, and since it's unlikely that I'll emigrate, I guess I'll have to go back as soon as possible.

Except now Matt and I are fucking broke. Meh.

I just got through a really nasty period at work where I was working constant overtime and battling ridiculous deadlines, and now there's a lull. I know it won't last, but I'm enjoying it to its fullest, using office time to do things like update my stupid blog, which is covered in cobwebs at this point. I mean, no new posts in nearly three months! Ridiculous!

The good news is that Happy Insomniac will very soon be updated! I'm going to be working with some NEW AUTHORS and am basically just waiting to receive some releases to update the site. Very, I've not quite been resting on my non-laurels at home. I'm still working on a large haiku project, and if that never goes anywhere, well, at least I'll have a shitload of haikus for the site. I've also been venturing into the world of...gasp!...POETRY, the results of which you'll see shortly. As always, I will promise to update more regularly, but I'm still on the "update when I feel like it" editorial schedule.

Meanwhile, you can read some of my haikus in the new issue of Ladyfriend, specifically Ladyfriend #10. I presume that you can pick up YOUR VERY OWN COPY at Quimby's Bookstore or by ordering it through the site. Unfortunately, it seems like this will be the last issue of Ladyfriend for a while, which makes me very sad, as I had actually found a publication that would print my shit!

More to, really, I promise!


Monday, March 12, 2007


This is why I've been such a bad blogger lately...

This dog is needy, time-consuming, and sometimes rambunctious and naughty, but I love her so freaking much, I can't even convey! I can't recommend greyhounds highly enough. They are little thieves, but they are very calm and quiet (for the most part). No matter how shitty someone has treated them in their racing careers, they're only looking for some love. They will really attach themselves to you, and you'll find yourself attached to them, to the point where the idea of boarding them in a kennel for a week during your fabulous European vacation is HEARTBREAKING.

If I had room for 10 of them, I'd adopt 12, I swear. Love, love, love these dogs. I spent this past weekend taking Cleo to her training class (where she's successful if she feels like following whatever commands I happen to be issuing), taking her to a dog park to really run, and then yesterday, completing my transformation into yuppie parent by taking her to a greyhound playgroup for an hour.

So that's that, and anyone who has talked to me recently knows how freaking obsessed I am, etc. etc.

Meanwhile, my inbox at work is piled ridiculously high, and I shouldn't even be taking the time to write this post, but such is my committment to ART! I'm still working on my longer haiku project, but I really need to get some new articles and stories posted on Happy Insomniac. Same old story there.

The house is a freaking disaster zone. The EPA is going to have to step in, I just know it! I thought we'd be neater with the dog out of necessity, but she's a mess too, so we're just one big happy family of slobs in Schaumburg.

In 12 days, Matt and I will be going to Prague to visit Lovely Jaime, along with Super-Genius Laura, her Patient Husband, Shawn, and Soon-to-be Rock Icon, Bryan. A side trip to Vienna is planned, and we're all going to dork out at a Nine Inch Nails concert while we're there. (um, don't ask.) I am utterly thrilled and will be even more so if I knew where exactly in our cluttered basement our passports are...


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Monday, February 12, 2007


Busy, busy, busy...

Dudes! Our dog is coming NEXT SATURDAY, and my mom's 70th birthday is NEXT SUNDAY, and she's staying the weekend, and our house is FILTHY. Help!

I suppose I could have blogged about the Chicago Bears in the Superbowl, but really, there was nothing good to say about it, and I was plagued with food poisoning almost immediately after.

I'm hoping to get some movie reviews up soon on Happy Insomniac, which I've been neglecting lately. Also, I'm working on a big haiku project, which I'd like to get published in some form or another (even if it has to be self-published), so stay tuned for that!

This blog post doesn't so much have a "point," per se, but I thought I'd check in before tackling this huge pile of work on my desk.

More to come!


Tuesday, January 30, 2007


A new addition to the family...

Well, it's been really busy over here, and by "really busy" I mean, falling asleep at 8 p.m. My URLS are becoming more of a misnomer each and every day.

BUT...Matt and I have managed to take care of one of our New Year's resolutions, which was to adopt a retired racing greyhound! Her name is Cleo, and she is a 65-pound brindle female. We found her through Greyhounds Only, a rescue group that has been really helpful and well-organized, and I have only good things to say about them at this point. She interacted with both Matt and me right away, despite all the distractions of the kennel she was at, and she has a very calm disposition and is good on a leash. Today she's going to the vet to be spayed and to have her check-up and shots and all that good stuff. Then she's going to recover at the kennel for a few days. Part of GO's adoption process is to have the dogs fostered for a week or so after their vet trip to get them used to being in a home, with all kinds of new and crazy things they've never seen before, like stairs and TVs and vacuums. So Cleo will most likely be coming home on February 17th. Which is fine because our house is a wreck and we don't have any doggie supplies at the moment.

I can't even believe I'm doing this because I look SO HORRENDOUS in this picture, but I'm so proud of Cleo that I have to paste in our first photo together. My vanity demands that I point out that my winter coat is really puffy, and I'm not as fat as I appear in the pic above. Also, my hair doesn't normally look so bad, but they had us in and out of the cold and snow a few times before we made our final decision. Oh, who am I kidding? My hair *does* normally look that bad.

Anyhoo, Matt and I are both THRILLED that we're finally getting our dog, and I'm sure you'll be getting more overly anthropomorphized blog entries in the near future!

In the meantime, if I don't get some actual work done now, I am SCREWED.


Saturday, January 20, 2007


Why the hell am I awake at 4:30 in the morning?

Oh yeah, because I was having a headache day today and spent much of Friday asleep. Oh well, at least a migraine was successfully avoided.

Artificially induced estrogen's not always pretty.

I purposely stayed close to home tonight because I most often seem to develop migraines when I have to be in some sort of moving vehicle. And really, the worst part of a migraine for me isn't so much that feeling that someone has stabbed an ice pick into your frontal lobe, but the accompanying nausea. And barfing only makes your head hurt more.

The worst migraine I've ever had was in Italy, actually. We had spent a wonderful day in Pompeii, but my dumb ass was out in the sun all day long without a hat. So all that time frying my scalp resulted in my getting a headache when I had no access to any kind of painkiller. And I had like a four-hour train ride ahead of me. The headache just grew and grew and grew, and the train ride was endless and nausea-inducing, and I had some time to ponder, should I make a run to the bathroom or just barf in this bag I have conveniently in front of me? Fortunately I was able to make it to the tiny bathroom on the train to revisit my previously delightful gelato, but I suffered until I could get back to our hotel room with all the lights off and a cold rag on my head. And here I just want to extend kudos to Nick Hawkins, who helped me cross a busy street in Rome, when I couldn't even think straight and could barely walk.

If I had to live with constant migraine pain, I'd be looking into euthanasia. Seriously. My poor sister-in-law has these incapacitating migraines that will land her in the hospital for weeks. I think she's been able to keep those under control lately, thank GOD. Compared to her, I am a whining amateur. Because if Excedrin Migraine cures your ills, you have what she calls "a soccer mom migraine." (I'm a devotee of Tylenol Rapid Release, myself.) But you don't ever want to be a member of her club, trust me.

Here's to happier craniums for everyone in 2007!


Wednesday, January 17, 2007


I had the SUPERLATIVE pop culture dream last night...

I dreamt that I was reading an essay by Chuck Klosterman (no, seriously), and he was writing about how Project Runway's Tim Gunn was serving as a style advisor to the Crocodile Hunter. Klosterman referred to Tim Gunn in his essay as "the Frank Lloyd Wright of buttons" and mentioned how Tim Gunn was irritated with the Crocodile Hunter for his fashion sins.

I also dreamt that I was in a huge pet shop with all kinds of exotic animals, including monkeys and foxes. I kept pissing off the monkeys, somehow, who all bared their teeth at me, and I bared my teeth in return. The monkeys went...uh, apeshit every time I glanced in their direction.

When I woke up, I asked Matt, "Does this mean that I would be a bad pet owner?"
Matt replied, "It means that you would be a bad monkey owner."


Thursday, January 11, 2007


Happy Insomniac update!!!

See, I told you guys!

I've got two movie reviews for you this time:

"Karen Discovers That There Is No David Bowie to Be Found in Pan's Labyrinth"
"And Karen Is Telling You...What She Thought of Dreamgirls."

Also, I dug through my archives to find an old short story, which I hope you enjoy, but I always worry that I'm the only one who finds this funny:

"Sincerely, Karen Killer"

Happy reading, everyone!


P.S. Not to get all Bridget Jones on everyone, but if you swim for an hour and then come home and eat a bunch of pretzels and chocolate, does that cancel out all your hard work? Yeah, I thought so.

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