Monday, December 04, 2006
What was that I was saying...
about things looking up? Well, sadly, on November 26th, my wonderful mother-in-law, Roberta Allison, passed away at the age of 60. This is such a huge blow for me, my husband, his family, and anyone who knew her. She was quite possibly the loveliest person I have ever known, and I could not have asked for a better mother-in-law. I know that people can have such contentious relationships with their in-laws, so I have always felt nothing but profound gratitude that I married into such a terrific family.
People usually speak highly of the very recently deceased, but to be honest, there are not enough good things that could be said about my mother-in-law. We recently sat down with friends and family and the minister who will be officiating at her memorial service to talk about her better qualities, and these are some of the things that were mentioned...all 100 percent true. She just had the biggest heart and an unending supply of caring and compassion. You could call her for advice or just to talk any hour of the day. She had such a wonderful sense of humor, and I will always miss the dirty jokes and anecdotes that used to scandalize me so. She was very committed to what was morally right and just without being judgmental. She had such enormous love for all the members of her family, and she did such an amazing job raising her sons. If I ever have kids someday, I will constantly be thinking of all the things she's taught me about parenthood, even though she was never pushing me to produce grandchildren. I miss her so profoundly, and I'm certain I will always miss her profoundly, but honestly, when I think about her and her voice and her hugs, I just smile.
I don't know if I could ever achieve her patience and stoicism in the face of so much pain. Through her I got to see a really nasty side of diabetes. Such a terrible disease--it brought her constant pain to her hands and legs, affected her heart, her lungs, her kidneys, made her legally blind and caused her to have countless eye surgeries...countless surgeries in general, come to think of it, eventually took away her ability to walk, and was one of the factors that took her away from us way too soon. She had been in the hospital since September 4th with a nasty condition called panniculitis, and there was just one complication after another after another after another. We thought that her health was improving, and I thought she'd be home by Christmastime, but that was not meant to be. She developed a lung infection, and she was just worn out, physically and spiritually, and we had to say our goodbyes. UGH. And through all this, I can honestly say that she never complained. Sure, she'd tell you what was hurting and something was always hurting, but she was never bitter, never blamed anyone or anything.
It's going to be hard getting through her memorial service. It's hard to even comprehend what her loss means...I sometimes just don't even know what we're all going to do without her. I think of Thanksgiving and Christmas and summers at the lake in Michigan, and it's hard to accept that these times will never be the same again. The world in general is a lot less warm and understanding without her in it. I'm so grateful for the memories I have with her...I just wish there could have been so many more.
Sigh.
I guess I'll write something of some substance some time. Eventually.
--karen
People usually speak highly of the very recently deceased, but to be honest, there are not enough good things that could be said about my mother-in-law. We recently sat down with friends and family and the minister who will be officiating at her memorial service to talk about her better qualities, and these are some of the things that were mentioned...all 100 percent true. She just had the biggest heart and an unending supply of caring and compassion. You could call her for advice or just to talk any hour of the day. She had such a wonderful sense of humor, and I will always miss the dirty jokes and anecdotes that used to scandalize me so. She was very committed to what was morally right and just without being judgmental. She had such enormous love for all the members of her family, and she did such an amazing job raising her sons. If I ever have kids someday, I will constantly be thinking of all the things she's taught me about parenthood, even though she was never pushing me to produce grandchildren. I miss her so profoundly, and I'm certain I will always miss her profoundly, but honestly, when I think about her and her voice and her hugs, I just smile.
I don't know if I could ever achieve her patience and stoicism in the face of so much pain. Through her I got to see a really nasty side of diabetes. Such a terrible disease--it brought her constant pain to her hands and legs, affected her heart, her lungs, her kidneys, made her legally blind and caused her to have countless eye surgeries...countless surgeries in general, come to think of it, eventually took away her ability to walk, and was one of the factors that took her away from us way too soon. She had been in the hospital since September 4th with a nasty condition called panniculitis, and there was just one complication after another after another after another. We thought that her health was improving, and I thought she'd be home by Christmastime, but that was not meant to be. She developed a lung infection, and she was just worn out, physically and spiritually, and we had to say our goodbyes. UGH. And through all this, I can honestly say that she never complained. Sure, she'd tell you what was hurting and something was always hurting, but she was never bitter, never blamed anyone or anything.
It's going to be hard getting through her memorial service. It's hard to even comprehend what her loss means...I sometimes just don't even know what we're all going to do without her. I think of Thanksgiving and Christmas and summers at the lake in Michigan, and it's hard to accept that these times will never be the same again. The world in general is a lot less warm and understanding without her in it. I'm so grateful for the memories I have with her...I just wish there could have been so many more.
Sigh.
I guess I'll write something of some substance some time. Eventually.
--karen
# posted by karen gsteiger @ 3:17 PM 
